Knife to See You Again - A Futurama Fan Script
by colinbabineau
Summary: Roberto returns to... want to hang out? Seems suspicious. Find out what happens in a fan script written by me!
1. You Remember Roberto?

"Knife to See You Again"

Futurama Fan Script

Written By: Colin Babineau

Opening Credits Gag: Now with 27% less sodium than the other leading shows!

Scene 1 (You Remember Roberto?):

*Fry and Leela in the planet express meeting room*

Fry: Leela, even though we've been on countless amounts of strange adventures, I think life is going pretty good right now.

Leela: I agree, let's just hope nothing crazy happens for a while, it's been nice to finally have some time to relax.

*About 3-4 seconds of silence, Bender smashes through the door.*

Bender: Guys, guys! You remember Roberto right? *Roberto walks in* Well I just saw him and I told him we could hang out here for a while!

Leela: Oh Lord.

Fry: Umm, Bender, I'm not sure if you remember, but, *whispers* he's almost killed us on several occasions. Plus, I think he's a little cra...

*Roberto suddenly is close and interrupts Fry*

Roberto: YOU CALLING ME CRAAAAAAAAAA... ZY?!

Fry (nervously): Umm, no, not at all! I was saying.. umm... that you were, uh, creative! Yeah umm. That's what I meant! Creative in the most non threatning way possible, my good pal!  
*Whispers to Bender* Bender you idiot! He's insane!

Bender (also whispering): What? No way. At least not now. He said he's cool. I think we can trust him!

Roberto: Yeah guys! I've changed! I'm totally normal now. No stabbin human flesh or anything!

Fry: Well, umm, okay! Have fun with Bender then.

Roberto: Oh, don't you want to hang with us too though? We could go see a movie, visit the park, see what's going on at the bank for no reason and then go on a very expensive trip! Sounds like fun right?

*Silence for about 2 seconds*

Roberto: RIGHT?!

Fry: Oh yeah, umm, let's go! Just umm... give me a second. I need to go get my wallet, and Leela suddenly needs to go with me. Right Leela?

Leela: Oh umm.. yeah okay!

Roberto: Well just don't take too long, and by that I mean 5 minutes or else!

Fry: Or else what?

Roberto: Or else what, what?

Fry:...

Roberto: GET YOUR STUFF ALREADY!

*Fry and Leela run quickly out of the room*

Fry: Leela, help! I was his roomate in that mental institution. He's practiced his stabbing way more than I feel one should! Oh god Leela help me.

Leela: Don't worry Fry, he's either changed, or if not, you'll probably end up fine and back to where we left off like normal. Also deal with it because this time I'm not involved!

Fry: Leela, that's kind of rude, don't you think?

*Roberto in the background*: I hope you're almost done getting your wallet, Red!

Leela: I'm sorry Fry, I'm just too used to this stuff happening around here now to even care anymore.

Fry: But what if it's different this time? What if things don't go back to normal?

Leela: Hey, I don't have all the answers here! Now you better hurry, you don't want him to start getting stabby, now don't you?

Fry: Umm, yeah I guess not.

Leela: Then go!

*Fry looks back and forth for a second, and then runs back to Roberto*

Roberto: Oh, I see you're back Red. Have any troubles finding your wallet?

Fry: Wallet? ...Ohhhh, yeah my wallet. Umm... no troubles there.

Roberto: Good, good. Oh and did I call you Red? I think I meant to call you something else. What was it now?

Fry: ...Fry? You know, my actual name.

Roberto: No wait, I remember now. I think it was... HOSTAGE! (Roberto pulls out knife)

Bender: So, we still up for that movie?

End of scene 1


	2. What Do You Even Want?

*Roberto finishes tying Fry to a chair*

Fry: Hey hey hey, wait. We can work this out. Is there anything you need? You know, so that you can let me go!

Roberto: Who says I need anything?

Fry: Well this is a hostage situation right? Like, aren't you supposed to be threatning my life to get something in return?

Roberto: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO THIS!

*Leela walks in*

Leela: Umm, sorry to interrupt, but... what do you even want?

Roberto: Well since you're asking so kindly, maybe I just want to peel off your skin, slowly... or maybe, I'll start stabbing you all! HA HA!

*Roberto stabs the air a few times*

Bender: You know, the movie I want to see is on in 30 minutes, so...

Roberto: WE AREN'T GOING TO SEE THAT MOVIE, OKAY?

Bender: Oh, okay fine then. I guess we won't do what Bender wants for once. Seriously Roberto, can't we just do this hostage thing with Fry later?

Roberto: Bender, you either co-operate, or Imma have to start stabbing you okay?

Bender: *Sigh*, fine!

*The Professor walks in*

Professor: Whu what? What are you doing here with my employees and some robot that I can't seem to recognize?

Roberto: Now this is what I actually want!

*Fry, Bender, and Leela comment sounds of confusion*

Roberto: You all seem confused, you see I wanted to keep this a secret until wrinkles showed up to make sure he could explain why I'm here in the first place!

Professor: I have no idea what you're talking about! Stop talking to me! It's 3:30 PM, I should be sleeping! And suddenly I am asleep because I am tired! *The Professor makes fake snoring noises*

Roberto: Oh come on, I know you remember. Or do I have to stab you to make sure you get your memory back?

Professor: Alright fine! If it'll save my life! *Sigh*, it all started about two years ago. Around that time Hermes almost became a robot or whatever. You see, after we discovered the robot brain we put in Robot Hermes, was Roberto and we killed him, I secretely took it and built a new Roberto. Thinking it would be nice to have a Robot that's not afraid to stab someone when necessary. However, after I built him, I realized that was quite the mistake. When I told him that he could work with me, he refused with rage. That worried me, so I hit him with a magazine. Which after I realized was also a huge mistake. He ran away but swore to return. For I still had his precious knife! Oh boy did I screw up badly *laughs*. What dark times those were.

Fry: Yeah I was starting to wonder why he was still alive!

Leela: So you were the one to bring him back? What logic goes through that brain of yours?

Roberto: Who knows? Now anyway, as previously indicated. You still have something of mine.

Professor: Something... wha?

Roberto: MY KNIFE YOU FLESHPILE!

Professor: Oh yes! But who says I'll give it back!

Roberto: You better give it back! For the last 2 years, I've been using nothing but whatever knives I could find. That was my special knife! It's precious to me, and it has more stabbing power than any other knife that I've ever had!

Professor: Exactly the reason why I simply won't return it.  
Roberto: Oh but can't you see? I've got Red over here all tied up real nice, and you wouldn't want anything to happen to him, now would you?

Professor: I suppose not.

Roberto: Then empty out the register!

Professor: ...Huh?

Roberto: Whoops sorry, force of habit. I mean, GIVE ME BACK MY KNIFE!

Professor: Never!

Roberto: Maybe you'll change your mind very soon.

*Roberto slices some skin off of Fry's arm*

Fry: Hey! That's my favourite arm!

Leela: Professor! Just give him his knife back! Do you really want this to continue?

Professor: Oh alright, fine! *He hands the knife back to Roberto* But only because you said so!

Roberto: That's very generous of you, and by you, and everyone else, in this room, I mean HOSTAGES!

*Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg walk into the room*

*Hermes and Amy gasp*

Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm going to participate in an activity with friends!

End of Scene 2


	3. Never Trust a Criminal

Scene 3 (Never trust a criminal):

*Roberto finishes tying the rest of the Planet Express team up*

Leela: Bender! Why would you trust Roberto again?

Hermes: Yeah, whenever you let him in, there's always stabbing invloved!

Bender: Hey, do I get mad when you guys allow a criminal to hang around? I don't think so!

Amy: What are you talking about?

Bender: Well I'm technically a criminal, and you guys always allow me to stay here! So you're equally guilty this time!

Fry: He's got us there.

Leela: *Sigh* Despite all of Bender's mistakes, why are we hostages now?

Roberto: Oh yeah, I also robbed the bank on the way here, and I needed some people to keep hostage when the police showed up!

Fry: Weren't we going to visit a bank though?

Roberto: How many times do I have to say it? That was all a lie! ALL OF IT!

*Door is knocked*

Police officer: Open up! We know you're in there Roberto, and that you have hostages. Come out or we'll have to actually do something.

Roberto: Not unless you don't arrest me!

Police officer: We can't do that though, I almost got fired last time I did.

Roberto: Oh really?

Police officer: Yes.

Roberto: REALLY?

Police officer: I belive so.

Roberto: Well if you decide to change your mind, you have 15 minutes until I start stabbing the hostages!

Police officer: ...Okay.

End of Scene 3


	4. I Have a Friend

Scene 4 (I have a "Friend"):

Hermes: This is horrible! Roberto never filled out the hostage sheet, and we're most likely all going to die!

Professor: *Whispers* Psst! I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Amy: What, that he's gonna kill us or that he didn't fill out the sheet?

Professor: That he's going to kill us you imbicile!

Zoidberg: But how Professor? You heard the Robit, we're doomed!

Professor: Let's just say I have a friend who helps me in these situations.

Leela: And um... who would that be?

Professor: You expect me to remember that? Just trust me!

Leela: You're sure this "friend" of yours, will help?

Professor: Absolutely!

Amy: Well you better be right!

Professor: Wha..?

Roberto: Silly Professor, always thinks he can get out of anything, but the clock is ticking, and pretty soon I'll be peeling your skin off! Layer by layer. Unless you're so called "full proof plan"ends up happening, I'll just be... what is that?

*Pazuzu crashes through the window*

Professor: Ahh, that's who it was! Pazuzu!

*Planet Express team cheers*

Roberto: No no no no no! I didn't sign up for this! My guide to becoming a successful criminal told me exactly this would never happen! I'm out of here. *Roberto jumps out window*

Professor: Well that was a bit quicker than I expected.

Hermes: Yeah but, how are we supposed to get untied? The police gave up and left already.

Professor: Don't worry, Pazuzu can help us! Right Pazuzu?

*Pazuzu flies away*

Fry: So long Panini!

Professor: NO! Pazuzu! Pazuzuuuuuu!

Zoidberg: Wait! Friends, if I can get in the right position, my claws may be able to snip through the rope!

Professor: Well, looks like we'll have to try.  
*50 attempts later*

(Everyone is now covered in scratches)

Hermes: That honestly some how went worse than I imagined.

Leela: Well, at least we're free finally.

Zoidberg: And Zoidberg was the hero! Just let me stitch you all up and you'll all be fine.

Amy: I really don't think that'll be necessary.

Bender: You almost snipped off my antenna! I don't want you fixing up my scratches!

Zoidberg: But friends!

Hermes: Zoidberg, no means no!

*Meanwhile, we see Roberto running away in a forest*

Roberto: That's the last time I'm using those guys again as hostages! Well, at least for the next few months. But hey, at least I got you back (pulls out knife). With this knife, I'm feeling lucky about robbing whatever bank I see! HA HA! *A bird swoops by and steals his knife*  
...NO! NOT MY KNIFE! NOOOOOOOO!

The End


End file.
